Sermon of the Day

It was a cool dawn in spring. The world was stirring itself up for the day as the Sun made it's appearance.

A group of Zen monks, fresh and eager faced, were sitting on straw-filled mattresses in a courtyard. The Zen Master arrived and sat under a tree. He chanted with his head bowed and looked with repose at the disciples.

As he was about to begin his sermon, a bird alighted on a branch above him. It hopped about energetically and broke into a birdsong. All eyes and ears turned towards it. The bright-colored feathered creature sang for a while and flew away.

Turning to the monks the Master said, "The sermon for the day is over."

Milarepa's Cave

The Annapurna Circuit trek is amazing for the varied geography, picturesque villages and views of the mighty Himalayas. Being a teahouse trek, it can be done without a guide, porters, mules, tents, stove, fuel, ration and motley paraphernalia. Excellent lodges on the trail promise a warm bed and wholesome food besides an opportunity to meet, chat and socialize with trekkers from around the world. So, the Apple Pie Trail, as it is nicknamed, is what I chose for my first visit to Nepal in Sep-Oct 2009.

This trail initially follows the lush Marsyangdi river valley, moving away from it after Manang (3540m). The vegetation starts thinning till there is almost none as the trail approaches Yak Kharkha (4018m). In another day or two it goes over the windswept Thorung La at 5416m to descend dramatically into the cold desertlike region of the upper Kali Gandaki valley. The list of impressive 7000m+ and 8000m+ peaks one sees would be too long to mention here. The valleys are deep and broad and the scenery left us spellbound. I and my friend Shalini Menon did this trek at a leisurely pace to do justice to the place and also because this was the first time either of us would go above 5000m. We also did numerous day-hikes, Milarepa’s Cave being one of them.

On day 8 (Oct 03) we were in Braga (aka Bhraka) at 3360m, separated from Manang by 15-20 minutes. Having found a room for 100 Nepali Rupees, we decided to spend the next 2 days in that region and do day-hikes up to 4300 - 4600m in order to acclimatize for the tougher days ahead. I woke up late the next day at about 08:00. S was already in the dining hall. We had a heavy breakfast while reading our respective books. I was reading Annapurna Circuit, a Himalayan Journey by Andrew Stevenson which S had already finished. The lodge owner, a friendly, bearded, tough middle-aged Manangi with glowing reddish sun-baked skin noticed this and told us that the author had stayed in his lodge a few times and kept in touch with him. He showed me a hard-bound autographed copy of the book on display in a corner. He said various autographed copies had been either damaged or stolen by trekkers and the author had been kind to send him a new one each time.

At about 10:45 we took our daypacks and left for Milarepa’s Cave which is on the slopes high above Braga and Manang, to the true right of the Marsyangdi. The lodge owner was kind enough to walk with us a short way and point out the rough direction we needed to go in. Going south along the river, we soon reached a wooden bridge. Crossing over, we were told that we would see two paths ascending into the mountains. The one on the left was steep while the right one was gentler. We chose the right. Clouds shrouded the mighty peaks and the sky was a mass of gray as we began the ascent. The visibility on the trail and in the valley below was good though. The trail seemed well used, though much narrower than the main circuit. We passed numerous cairns and chortens. The settlements in the valley below looked picturesque and tiny, dwarfed by the mountains. After about an hour or so, we encountered steep rock and sand formations of the kind one sees in Spiti in HP, India. Unlike Spiti though, it was quite green here due to higher rainfall.

Milarepa, a 11^th century Tibetan mystic and poet had lived and meditated in this region for many years. This is a historical fact, not a myth. Many regions of Nepal have had strong connections with Tibet, and the influence of this can be seen to this day. After China occupied Tibet, a group of Tibetans called Khampas made Mustang their base and continued guerrilla warfare against the Chinese for many years. Mustang is just a week’s hike from the upper Kali Gandaki valley. Regions such as Mustang and outer Dolpo in Nepal are probably greater strongholds of Tibetan culture than Tibet itself these days, though in a fossilized form and losing their seclusion and identity rapidly.

We continued ascending and I began sensing a mystical quality in the air as we passed through an Alpine forest. It was a strange, uncanny feeling. The spirit of Milarepa, a giant among the various mystics of Tibet, seemed to have permeated the rocks, soil, air, forest and the mountains. The feeling was neither pleasant nor disturbing; just strange, special and peaceful. S could sense it too, as we talked about it later. If this seems weird to you, you could just put it down to the wind blowing in my vacuous cranial cavity.

At some point we encountered workers building a Stupa. I smiled and asked how far the Milarepa Gompa was. In another 30 minutes or less, I reached the steps leading to the small, unimpressive Gompa. It was 12:45. It had been a pleasant hike and I was not tired. Just then it started drizzling, gently at first and then more heavily. Seeing a hut from which some fumes were emanating, I ran for shelter. Inside was an old Lama who welcomed me and plied me with hot water, black tea, powdery biscuits and some kind of prasad. We sat by the wood-fired stove cum fireplace, trying to talk in broken English while the rain made a racket. The Lama figured that I knew Hindi. He would say a word in English and ask me translate it into Hindi, and then translate it into Tibetan himself. He seemed particularly amused by the sound of the word ladki, girl in Hindi, and had a good laugh at it. S too arrived in a while and was extended the same hospitality. We wondered what drove an old man like him to live alone in the mountains, so frugally and simply, and in conditions that would surely be quite harsh. What was it like to live such a life?

After it stopped raining, we said goodbye to him and went looking for Milarepa’s Cave. We spent another 2 or 2.5 hours roaming around and going further up the mountains in search. We saw many blue sheep, aka bharal, grazing in the meadows that were enveloped in a gentle swirling mist. They seemed unperturbed by our presence but would move away the moment we were within 15-20 feet radius. The cave was not to be found though. We descended back to the Gompa and followed another path that I had missed earlier. I don’t remember it well now, but it was quite close to the Gompa. It climbed a little and then traversed the side of the mountain on the right. Finally, I saw the cave on one of the hillsides. It was unmistakable, a small unadorned cave with offerings, incense and a little statue of Milarepa.

The skies were still overcast. None of the mountains above were visible and neither was the valley below. I descended to the river in 50-60 minutes by the steep route. At the bridge, I waited for S and we headed for the lodge.

The lodge owner said he thought we might have lost the trail and was wondering what took us so long to return. Over ginger tea and hot chocolate, we narrated our experience and it was only after talking to him that we realized we had ascended a fair bit higher than Milarepa’s Cave. Although shrouded by the mist and clouds, another 2-3 hours hike would have brought us to the base of Annapurna III (7555m), perhaps close enough to see the Gangapurna glacier. Well, that’s what I’m gonna do if I ever come here again, I thought.

I treated myself to a large pizza and chocolate brownie for dinner that night, and we made plans for a day-hike to Ice Lake the next day. 

Night trek to Peb

This was my first night trek. It was thrilling and enjoyable enough for me to be motivated to write about it, albeit a little late!

Unlike as usual, I had the weekend off on Apr 11 & 12. The last trek that that I'd done was in winter, sometime in Nov - months ago! Was itching badly for a good trek. Summer makes things worse for trekking in the Sahyadri. (Monsoon is the best. Winter is good for tougher ones.) Even an easy trek can sap the energy out of seasoned trekkers. So a night trek was the only obvious choice. The places I had in mind were Harishchandragad, Naneghat, Peb (aka Vikatgad) and Gorakhgad. I'm generally averse to an "easy trek." At the some time, since this was my first night trek, I could not afford to bite off more than I could chew. A few phone calls later, asking people if they would care to join, what their choices are and so on, I and Moiz finally decided on doing a night trek to Peb. This would be my 2nd trek with Moiz, a seasoned trekker and traveler by my standards. ;)

The plan was to leave Mumbai by 4:00 PM and start from Neral a little before sunset. That way, we would suffer little heat. Secondly, it would also give us the advantage of some light which would help us in the initial patch where there are chances of getting lost - more so at night..! he he... :) More about that later.

But it was not to be that way. I went off to sleep and probably didn’t set the alarm properly. When I woke up, it was 5:15 PM. I saw missed calls from Moiz and called back. He had assumed that I cancelled our plans at the last moment. We took stock of our situation and decided that we would go ahead with a trek although it was a little late. Question was - should we stick to Peb, or opt for Gorakhgad instead? We decided to stick to doing Peb. There was some risk involved in this, but since I had done Peb before in daylight, I had a fair idea of the route and felt we would be able to manage the tricky part even at night.

I took a local at 7:27 PM from Ghatkopar. Moiz joined me at Dombivli. We reached Neral at 8:45 and had some grub near the station. We started the trek at 9:30.

Here's the inside scoop on how to go about tackling Peb at night. :)

From Neral station, walk towards the right - in the direction of Vangani. At one point after one has left the hustle-bustle near the station behind, take a left and walk across a small maidan and onto a narrower street with shops on either side. (I believe this point is a tax/rickshaw stand - not sure.) One can now see Matheran (left), Peb (center) and Nakhind (right.) One can now see the col between Peb and Nakhind which one has to reach first. Reaching this col is the only slightly tricky part of this trek 'cos it is easy to go off on the wrong track if one is not careful and does not know better. After walking a while along the road, we reached a village. We continued walking along the same road, going right, till I realized we had come a bit too far to the right. I could see the lights of a village which was closer to the col and realized that it was that village we had to reach – not the one we were in. We backtracked a little on the road and then walked across the land in the direction of the lights. There was no need to backtrack all the way on the road. If we had been more alert, we would have spotted the farther village instead of going to the right. Anyways, we did not lose much time due to this.

We reached Kapoor Farm – it is a landmark in the area. We saw a path going in the direction of the hills on the left of its gate. We took that path and soon reached a brick structure which was under construction. Must mention here though that there is always quite a bit of construction going on in these parts and so the paths do not stay as they are. The only thing that can truly guide you is your sense of direction, judgment about which would be the right path and your wits. Of course, you can always ask someone if you're not sure. There are always sooo many people anywhere in India - you just can't escape humanity in this land! There was a pot bellied baba sitting with someone outside this place and we thought of confirming the route with him. As it turned out, he was not a local and did not know the route. He did confirm that we were in the right direction though, so we went ahead after having some water.

Soon after leaving the Ashram behind, we started ascending a hill. There is only a single fairly well trodden path here rather than the confusing criss-cross and mish-mash that one finds closer to the villages. We simply followed this path which went right first before circling and turning left, ascending all the while, till it took us to a small plateau. We now had to begin using our head torches since it was quite dark, esp. in the thickets. We did not have much benefit of the moonlight since the moon, in the waning phase, was almost full but hidden by clouds. Ascending this hill brought us to the first big power transmission tower. I must make special note of these towers now.

More than anything else, it is these power transmission towers that can act as one's guideposts on this trek. They go over the same terrain and roughly the same direction. In fact one of them sits bang on the col between Peb and Nakhind and then the lines go down on to the other side towards Panvel. The path does not go directly below these of course, but the direction is approx. the same during most of the trek till the col. One has to keep note that if you're going too far away from the direction in which the power lines are going, then you're off track. And one should be alert and keep a look out for the path where it seems to disappear or where multiple paths seem to crop up.

After reaching the 1st plateau, we turned right and began another ascent through the hill and thickets to reach a 2nd plateau / flat area. This is larger than the 1st one. The 2nd tower is somewhere here too. We walked straight past the tower, with the path going slightly left, till we reached a point where we crossed a 3rd tower and walking even further we could see the col right in front of us. At this point, it seems easy to think that all one has to do is climb and reach the col in 45-60 mins. But it is not so. There is no proper route to the col from this point. There are many boulders and thickets in between which make it tough to ascend to the col from this point, either from the right or from the left. During the day it is possible to manage an ascent somehow, but at night it is foolhardy.

There is a path which leads towards the area situated directly below the col. This seems to be going in the right direction but is in fact the wrong one. Keep a look out for a path which goes right in the direction of Nakhind rather than Peb. Although it initially seems to be going in the wrong direction and away from Peb, this is the right one. At some point it turns sharply left and then one ascends through a fairly thick jungle following a clearly visible path till one reaches the col via a 4th tower that one passes along the way.

Our problem was that either due to poor visibility, or lack of alertness or being engrossed in talking, or all of these, we missed the point where the path turns left and kept walking straight ahead till we reached a point where a further clear trail was not visible. It was then that stupid me realized we had again gone too much to the right. There was no other option than to backtrack 'cos we were now somewhere below the hills of the broad Nakhind mountain. We decided to backtrack all the way to the 3rd tower so as to be very clear about taking the right route. But we kept a lookout to see if we could find a path on our right which went up. We rested at one point and it somewhere there that we saw the now dry nullah made by the monsoon waters. We figured that the nullah would take us to some point near the col since the water flowed from that direction. So we set off to ascend through the nullah rather than backtrack further which would have cost us 30 minutes or so. Fortunately, after just 2-3 minutes of climbing, the nullah criss-crossed a path which came from below (the one we missed seeing earlier). So we followed the path rather than the rocky nullah till we reached the 4th tower. From the 4th tower, there are again 2 paths. I don't remember exactly now, but we took a path on the left which was ascending figuring it would take us to the col since that was still further up. But that path went in a different direction after a while. Again it turned after a while and started climbing in the direction of the col. It is all quite hazy now in my memory. We were scrambling like crazy through the thickets since we lost the path after a while. We just kept ascending however we could simply knowing that we were in the right direction and could see the mountain ridge up ahead. Fortunately, after about 15-20 mins of this crazy scrambling we accidentally got back on the path again. After that in another 10 mins we were on the col. Finally.....!! Near the col, there are 3 other paths. One goes over the col and down towards Panvel side to a village below. One goes right towards Nakhind along the ridge that connects Peb and Nakhind. The 3rd one, which we had to take, was the one on the left which goes to Peb.

It was 12:30 AM by the time we reached the col. We spent a good 45 minutes there resting, drinking water, eating and chit-chatting. It was very cool, peaceful and much of the topography we had trekked over was visible from this point. From the col to Peb there is no chance of getting lost and it takes just 35-45 mins to reach the caves of Peb from there. The path does go up and down and there are some slightly steep scree ridden paths. When one is almost at the end of the connecting ridge and near the Peb mountain, there is a rock patch that needs to be tackled. It is just 20-25 feet and an easy free climb with plenty of holds - no problem even at night or in the monsoons. After the rock patch, we skirted the mountain wall in front of us and took a path which went to the right. A further walk of 10 mins and we found the caves on the left. Whew..!! It was 2:30 AM when we reached the caves.

We were out of water and so I set off to find water at 3-4 spots near the cave which I knew. Found nothing. I realized that these spots probably held water only in the monsoons and a little after that. We were now faced with the prospect of trekking to Matheran without any water. We decided to sleep for 3-4 hours and set off as early as possible to avoid the Sun. We went off to sleep at 3:00 AM, near the entrance to the caves rather than inside.

We woke at 6:30 AM. Or to be more precise, we were awakened by the Sun and chirping birds etc. soon after Sunrise. As I woke up and sat erect, the most wonderful sight greeted my eyes. This was the best moment of the trek for me. We were in the west and the Sun was in the east on the other side of the mountain, so it was not visible. There was freshness in the air and the quietude was broken only by the sound of birds. Best of all, moonset had not occurred. Since it was not bright daylight as yet, the almost full moon was clearly visible too. And down below we could see the flat lands - villages, fields and the Palasdari lake. Just sitting quietly at this spot for 10 mins was the best of this trek for me.

We quickly packed and set off further for Matheran by 7:00. We also intended to check out another 1-2 places for water which we could not check out at night. Walking further we reached a wall which one has to climb using an iron ladder. There is a tank at the top near the wall but that too was dry. We climbed further and then took a right to get on to the ridge that connects Peb and Matheran. There is a path that again skirts the top area of the hill and goes around it instead. At it's end where we could now see the ridge to Matheran clearly. We saw a path going to the left and leading to a hut. The "hut" is a kinda Ashram set up by followers of Swami Samartha. There was no one around so we freely trespassed and entered the shrine. Lo and behold - the blessed souls who lived here had kept water in a drum inside the shrine..!! We were very thirsty and drank our fill before also filling the bottles. We would not run out of water till Matheran now.

Leaving the hut we walked in the direction of Matheran and after a while met 2 guys. They were the Swami Samartha fellows who lived in the hut. One of them showed me the place where they got the water from. It is very close to the hut, a little below it, and has water all year round. There is enough water for them to take a bath everyday and enough for their 2-3 cattle to drink as well. They invited us for tea which we declined and after ascertaining the route we set off again. It is an easy 1.5 - 2 hours walk to the railway track of Matheran from Peb. One has to descend by an iron ladder at one point where it is rocky. After this descent, the path leads straight to a point where it again skirts the mountain side rather than going up. This is on the west side, so if one leaves early, one is shaded from the Sun after this point. A further 20-30 minute walk brought us to a point on the Matheran railway track at 9:00 AM. The train passes by this point at 9:15. We decided not to risk boarding it as we would have to board it while it was running and also ran the risk of a hefty fine if caught without a ticket. The ticket checker was sure not to let go of relatively rich city folks like us – “Tch Tch… Educated people like you should know better. Now you have to pay a fine.” I am sure they let local folks hitch a ride without any payment.

So we walked along the track till we reached Dasturi Naka. It is the entry point for Matheran where one has to park one's vehicles and leave them behind as they are not allowed in. We reached the Matheran market by 10:15 AM. Had a snack there and roamed around a little before going for an afternoon snooze in the Paymaster Park. Sleeping like bums in a public park on the park-benches was quite an experience. I did not get much sleep though Moiz was fast asleep soon. I could overhear the yapping of a group which came after us and rested nearby. A young boy was wondering aloud why we were not getting disturbed by the insects. To which his mom or aunt or whoever it was, replied "Huh..! It makes no difference to people like these." .. he he... When I later told this to Moiz, he speculated that they probably thought we were drug addicts. Or maybe good-for-nothing bums asleep in a public park 'cos they have nothing better to do in life.

We left the park at 4:30 PM, had a snack in the market and bought soda to make a 2nd round of a heavenly drink (Kokum sherbet with Soda..!) and took a cab down to Neral. I was back home by 8:30 PM.

All in all, a great escape and a resounding success as it was mine as well as Moiz's first night trek.

My Expenses: 49 - Andheri to Ghatkopar rickshaw, 30 - Ghatkopar to Neral return ticket. Sub-total: 79.

Shared Expenses: 70 - restaurant at Neral, 50 - Matheran entry fee, 30 - Diwadkar restaurant, 32 - 2 bottles of soda, 70 - snack in market, 100 - cab from Matheran to Neral. Sub-total: 352. Per head: 352/2 = 176

My total expenses: 176 + 79 = 255.

Cheap, huh? And this was one of the treks where we ended up spending more since we went to a touristy place like Matheran. Else we would not have had to spend more than 150 bucks per head.

Last Post?

Have started another blog where I am writing anonymously since a while. So, I may not write any more out here. This may be the last post. On the other hand, it's quite possible that I may write something once in a while here too. :)

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

Haven't read the book but saw the movie today. Liked it a lot.
Great acting by Jack Nicholson & direction by Milos Forman. Makes me want to read the book too, but dunno if I'll ever get around to it. :)

American Neuroses

American Neuroses - A Cultural Analysis - a very good essay by Dan Rowden on Genius Realms - a discussion forum.

On Pleasure and Pain

Never admit the pain,
Bury it deep;
Only the weak complain,
Complaint is cheap.
Cover thy wound, fold down
Its curtained place;
Silence is still a crown,
Courage a grace.

- Mary Gilmore (1865-1962), Australian Poet

Something I read recently made me recall this poem from my 8th or 9th grade school textbook. I remember it word-to-word, not just because it is short but also because the teacher who interpreted it for us seemed to like it a lot. It was visible in the interest with which she spoke about it as opposed to other things that were in the syllabus.

The poem advocates a stoic courage and an ability to deal with pain with a silence forced upon oneself. It advocates hiding one’s wounds from the view of the world, because we know how ruthless the world is. It does not care about the wounds that one carries. On the contrary, it inflicts more wounds once it realizes how frail one is. In saying “Never admit the pain, Bury it deep” the poet seems to be advising us to bury the pain so deep that not only is it not visible to the outside world but also so that we can therefore have the ability to deny or hide the pain from our own selves. It sees this as strength, and loathes complaining as cheap and a sign of weakness.

This kind of stoic courage has helped me on many occasions in my life. I am sure many people adopt the same approach. However, then as well as now, there seems to me something seriously wrong with this approach to dealing with pain, although I perhaps still resort to it sometimes.

All of us are hurt. We experience pain right from the time we are born. Being born itself is such a painful and traumatic process. We are pushed out from our mother’s womb, which is such a comfortable and secure place, into this world. The first thing we do is cry. As babies, we experience pain even though the concept of “I” has not yet fully developed. For several months, a baby does not know that it is a separate entity from the world. Experience of pleasure and pain play a critical role in the development of the concept of “I”. Through such experiences we realize how the world is separate from us, that we are a distinct entity upon which pleasure and pain are bombarded. Later, as we get more integrated with society, the development of the process of thought and the thinker (an entity created by thought itself) also plays an important role in strengthening the “I”.

We are born with a high sensitivity. We continue to experience pleasure and pain all through life - only perhaps less keenly as we grow older. We see pleasure as something good, desirable, and pain as something to be avoided. We either run away from it or develop strategies to deal or fight with it. In doing so, we lose our sensitivity and become thick-skinned and hard-hearted – not sensitive even to our own pain, forget others. We want pleasure, comfort, security… And in trying to have this we become clever, escapist, insensitive, thoughtless, blind… We do not realize that pleasure and pain are two sides of the same coin. We cannot have one without the other. The pursuit of comfort and security, material as well as psychological, is such a tortuous process, filled with conflict, uncertainty and effort. And it ultimately leads to pain. Pain remains the central fact of human life.

One may say that one is not pursuing pleasure or comfort, and that we just want to be happy, content. But upon looking carefully within, one realizes that this is just a form of self-deception. One may not be greedy or covetous, but one still wants happiness through pleasure. We confuse the two. Pleasure can be pursued or sought. But happiness does not come from seeking. One cannot go to it. It comes to us. And it comes to us, only if it wishes, as a kind of side-effect of something else, of a different quality within oneself than one which is always “seeking” or “becoming” something. One need not name this quality – why give it a name? If we give it a name, a word, then again our clever minds will snatch upon it and bring it within the realm of thought, as something to be pursued or achieved. It is easy to be firm or stubborn and pursue something; it is far more difficult not to do that and instead try to understand why one wants pleasure, happiness (or whatever you want to call it) in the first place.

To quote J. Krishnamurti, “I have been hurt all my life, I am sensitive - you know what hurt is, the wounds that one receives, and what effect it has in later life. I have been hurt. I can deal with superficial hurts fairly intelligently. I know what to do. I either resist, build a wall around myself, isolate myself so that I will never be hurt, or grow a thick skin - which most people do. But behind that they are wounded deeply.” The Buddha was perhaps trying to convey the same thing by saying that “Life is suffering (Dukkha).” It is significant that this is the first of the ‘four noble truths’ that he preached.

Most of us do not even realize that we are in sorrow. Sorrow is the human condition. We either try to overcome it or explain away our suffering. And so we never understand it.

Some of us are good at seeking escapes. Or to put it another way, we are successful at escaping and so we do not even realize that we are being escapist.

Having beliefs and clinging to them is being escapist. A belief is not a fact. For example, does one believe that fire is hot or does one know it as a fact? Isn’t it stupid to say “I believe fire is hot.”? We have beliefs only about things that we do not know anything about. We do not know what love is or what truth is and so we have beliefs or ideas about it. If we want to know what love is or what truth is one has to know oneself first – and we do not want to do that because that is not the easy way. So we seek escapes by believing in this and that… and engaging in action based on that, which only adds to the chaos although one may think otherwise.

Being committed to some idea or values is also being escapist. Why do we choose some idea or value? It is because by believing in or being committed to it we hope to achieve something. Behind that, what we are still seeking is comfort or security. We are disturbed by the chaos of life, and so we try to escape from it rather than face the reality within ourselves. By conforming to some pattern based on conditioning, we become half-dead human beings. Escape can take various forms – seeking pleasure or not seeking pleasure, seeking money or some object or not seeking it, seeking love or not seeking it, seeking comforts of the city or seeking an idealistic rural life, wanting something from someone or not wanting it and so on… We all indulge in being escapist in some form or another. Even pursuing spirituality is an escape.

There is no limit to the ways in which one can escape. We seem to have an ingrained tendency towards flight from disturbance rather than understanding oneself. Perhaps it is a natural and genetically encoded impulse in human beings. But that makes it all the important for us to see the danger of it. What is wrong with being disturbed? Unless we are disturbed, we will not have the energy to change and understand the cause of the disturbance. Understanding oneself means investigating into one’s psychological processes and instincts. This leads to self-knowledge or freedom. It leads to an understanding of life that is different from that which most people are used to. (In using the word “life” I am including death in it because death is not the opposite of life or something separate from it. It is a part of life.) That is the only basis upon which one can engage in right action or the foundation upon which one can build one’s life. Then whatever action one engages in is right action. The same action, if it does not come from self-knowledge is mere conformity with the intention of achieving something and thus being secure, which leads to more chaos/confusion.

However, when we look within ourselves, we may see many things that are ugly. It is difficult to simply look at the fact, or what-is, without any acceptance, justification, condemnation or running away. Similarly, it is also difficult not to turn self-knowledge into another thing that needs to be achieved or pursued by means of a path, system or method. I know this problem only too well and probably the way I am struggling to overcome it is also a part of the problem. In the spiritual realm, the effort to do something does not accomplish anything. As Krishnamurti said, “It is the truth that frees, not your effort to be free.”

There is no easy way out. There is no refuge – neither outside nor within.